.YOU DON’T HAVE TO CARRY THIS ALONE
If something in you aches and you can’t explain why… if you feel burdened by emotional patterns that don’t fit your life story... you may be holding pain that didn’t begin with you.Therapy can help you identify, feel, and release what never belonged to you in the first place.
📞 Call (212) 349-6544 or click here to reach out to begin the journey.
What Causes Generational Pain to Be Passed On?
When trauma is unhealed in one generation, it doesn’t disappear—it gets transmitted. Sometimes in subtle emotional patterns, sometimes in deep silence, sometimes in overreaction or absence. Children often adapt to these emotional wounds by taking on roles, suppressing feelings, or internalizing blame—carrying what was never theirs.
Common ways generational pain is passed down:
Unspoken trauma (e.g., war, abuse, sexual, addiction, betrayal, loss)
Parenting through fear and shame instead of attunement
Emotional neglect or abandonment
Physical abuse
Domestic violence
Cultural and ancestral trauma
Survival narratives that leave no room for vulnerability
This cycle isn’t about blame—it’s about awareness, which is the first step toward healing
HEALING HAPPENS WHEN WE FEEL SAFE
For many of us, the body has not always felt like a safe place to be. When trauma—especially generational trauma—has been carried for years or even decades, the body may brace, go numb, or stay on alert without us even realizing it.
But the body is where emotions live. It’s where memory is stored, where tension hides, and where truth waits quietly beneath the surface.
And here’s something many of us were never taught:
Emotions move slowly.
They unfold in layers. They reveal themselves in whispers, not shouts.
They require safety, gentleness, and time.
In our fast-paced world, it can feel unnatural to slow down. But healing isn’t a sprint—it’s a sacred, steady unfolding. When we move too fast, the body shuts down or protects. But when we go slowly, the body starts to trust.
In therapy, we don’t push. We listen. We allow. We follow what your system is ready for—not what it “should” be able to handle.
And in that space of tenderness, slowness, and permission… something beautiful begins to shift.
Signs You May Be Carrying Generational Trauma
You may feel it before you can name it. Symptoms of generational trauma often show up as emotional or relational patterns that don’t fully “make sense” in the context of your life.
Here are some common signs:
Deep shame or guilt without a clear cause
A feeling of never being safe or always being on edge
Anxiety, especially around closeness or trust
Over-responsibility or caretaking beyond what’s reasonable
Feeling emotionally numb or shut down
Repeating painful relationship dynamics
These are not signs of weakness—they’re evidence of your body and soul adapting to pain that may not have started with you.
NOTICING the Wounds That Were Passed Down
Healing doesn’t mean forgetting. It means learning to feel safe in your own body, to grieve what wasn’t given, and to reclaim the story.
In therapy, we slow down enough to notice:
Where the pain lives in your body
What emotions were never allowed
Which beliefs took root that were never true (like “I’m unlovable” or “I don’t matter”)
Where you learned to shut down or go silent
As your therapist, I gently help you turn toward these emotional places—not to relive them but to transform them. Together, we create new emotional experiences in real time. And often, what was once unbearable becomes bearable in the presence of care, curiosity, and compassion.
When the story beneath the sadness is finally heard, the weight begins to lift.
The Child Within Still Carries the Weight
Even as adults, there are places in us that remain very young—still longing to be seen, soothed, protected, or allowed to rest. These parts of us don’t operate on logic or age—they carry the emotional residue of what we lived through, or what our parents and grandparents lived through but never healed.
When generational trauma has shaped a family system, the child within us often carries:
A sense that they must always be good to keep the peace
The fear of being a burden or too much
A deep longing to be chosen, even when repeatedly overlooked
An ache to make the grown-ups better, even if it means losing themselves
A silent vow to never need too much, cry too loudly, or take up too much space
These parts of us don’t just go away with time. They live quietly inside—until life, loss, or love stirs them. In therapy, we slow down enough to meet these younger selves with compassion and curiosity. And in doing so, we begin to repair what never should have been broken in the first place.
You are not too late to offer that child what they needed. It begins with listening.
What Therapy With Me Feels Like
Therapy with me is grounded, relational, and emotionally honest. You’ll find a safe place to be met—not just analyzed, but seen and felt. In our sessions, I listen for what hasn’t yet been spoken and help you make sense of what feels tangled inside.
We slow things down. I don’t rush your process or try to fix you. I trust that the healing is already within you—we just uncover it together. My practice is rooted in faith, safety, and deep respect for your journey.
You’ll be met with warmth, presence, and steady support—especially in places where others may have shut you down or walked away.
A Reflection: A Letter to the One Still Carrying It
Take a quiet breath.
Place your hand over your heart, or wherever the ache lives.
And read this as if Yeshua Himself is speaking to the child within you—the one who’s waited a long time to be seen:
Beloved, this was never yours to carry.
Not their fear. Not their silence. Not their sin or sorrow.I saw it all. I see you still.
You were made to be held, not to hold it all together.
To be covered and cherished, not to be the one who kept others from falling apart.That tender place inside of you—still waiting for love that’s safe, steady, and pure—is precious to Me.
I have never left you.
I’ve wept over what wounded you.And now, I am bringing you into the light where healing lives.
There is no shame in your need. There is no weakness in your longing.
There is only My love—ready, now, to meet the places they couldn’t.You are not too late. You are not too much.
You are Mine.
Come rest. Let Me carry what was never yours to bear.
Healing Happens at the Speed of Safety
For many of us, the body has not always felt like a safe place to be. When trauma—especially generational trauma—has been carried for years or even decades, the body may brace, go numb, or stay on alert without us even realizing it.
But the body is where emotions live. It’s where memory is stored, where tension hides, and where truth waits quietly beneath the surface.
And here’s something many of us were never taught:
Emotions move slowly.
They unfold in layers. They reveal themselves in whispers, not shouts.
They require safety, gentleness, and time.
In our fast-paced world, it can feel unnatural to slow down. But healing isn’t a sprint—it’s a sacred, steady unfolding. When we move too fast, the body shuts down or protects. But when we go slowly, the body starts to trust.
In therapy, we don’t push. We listen. We allow. We follow what your system is ready for—not what it “should” be able to handle.
And in that space of tenderness, slowness, and permission… something beautiful begins to shift.
When Depression and Anxiety Are PASSED DOWN Wounds
Sometimes the sadness you feel isn’t just about your life—it’s about the life that came before you.
Sometimes the anxiety isn’t because you’re doing something wrong—it’s because your nervous system learned to stay alert in a family where safety was never guaranteed.
Depression and anxiety are often treated as symptoms to fix. But when they’re connected to generational trauma, they’re actually signs of something deeper:
Your body and soul are responding to emotional burdens you were never meant to carry.
You may feel:
A deep, inexplicable heaviness or emptiness
A sense of being stuck, disconnected, or numb
Panic, racing thoughts, or fear that something bad will happen—even when life is calm
A constant need to please, perform, or stay vigilant
Shame that doesn’t match your story
These are not character flaws. They are protective responses—learned ways of surviving emotional environments that weren’t safe, present, or nurturing. And sometimes, they don’t begin with you. They’re echoes of unspoken grief, unresolved fear, or inherited shame passed down through generations.
In therapy, we make room for the story underneath the symptom. We don’t fight your depression or anxiety—we get curious about what they’re trying to protect. And together, we begin to bring warmth, compassion, and care to the places that have felt frozen or overwhelmed for too long.
When the story beneath the sadness,anxiety and anger is finally heard, the weight begins to lift.
Invitation to Begin
If this speaks to something in you, even quietly, I invite you to reach out.
Whether you’ve carried the weight for a lifetime or are just beginning to notice it, there is room for healing. You don’t have to do it alone.
📞 Call me at (212) 349-6544
Or visit my website for more information: Ronee Miller Counseling
Let’s begin the journey together
Helpful Resources on Generational Trauma
You don’t have to figure this out alone. These resources—rooted in the work of clinicians, authors, and teachers who understand how pain is passed down and how healing happens—can deepen your insight and support your next steps.
It Didn’t Start With You by Mark Wolynn – A foundational book on inherited family trauma and how to break the cycle
The Center for Family History and Healing – Education and tools for understanding intergenerational trauma
The Legacy of Trauma (NICABM) – Clinical insight into how trauma is biologically and emotionally passed down
Diana Fosha and AEDP Therapy – How AEDP helps people heal through the power of emotion and connection
Jerry Wise – Family Systems Coaching (YouTube) – Videos on breaking free from family roles, codependency, and emotional enmeshment
John Bradshaw – Healing the Shame That Binds You – A powerful guide to inner child healing, toxic shame, and recovering your true self
Gabor Maté’s Work on Trauma and Inheritance – Articles and interviews exploring trauma, addiction, and emotional healing
Take your time with these. And when you're ready to go deeper, I’d be honored to walk with you. Reach out here or call (212) 349-6544 to begin.