✨ 1. When You’ve Carried It Alone for Too Long
If you're a man who experienced childhood sexual abuse, you may have never said it out loud — maybe not even to yourself. You might have buried it under work, relationships, humor, or silence. But your body remembers what your mind has tried to forget: the tension, the emotional shutdown, the struggle to trust or feel fully alive.
In our culture, men are often taught to stay strong and silent, especially around trauma. But being strong doesn't mean staying stuck. Healing begins when you find a safe place to be real — not judged, not fixed, but deeply heard.
You don’t need to know where to begin. You just need a space where your pain is met with compassion instead of shame, and where your story is treated with dignity.
📣 If you're ready to stop carrying this alone, I offer in-person psychotherapy in Tribeca, NYC — a quiet, private space where healing can begin. You don't have to stay silent. You deserve to be seen, heard, and whole.
If you have experienced childhood sexual abuse it is so important to know that you are not alone. So many men are struggling as you are with deep pain in their souls and bodies relationships, as so many have internalized their shame, blame and guilt as you very likely have
(See “ Feeling Safe In Your Own Body”).
You may be at a point of no longer being able to stuff, deny or minimize the effects of what happened to you and how you have kept this “secret” that seems to be running your life. You may be becoming more self-aware and noticing how you are feeling more depressed and anxious as well as how you have been emotionally shut down in an attempt to not feel your pain. You may also be fearful that if you share what happened to you with someone who you are close to you will be rejected, abandoned, not believed and blamed so you have been silent. Yet there is also a part of you that longs to no longer have this emotional physical and spiritual bondage run your life and want to courageously begin to look inside so your healing can begin!
THE EFFECTS OF CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE ON YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH “YOURSELF”
Sexual abuse is an abuse of power and of trust. As a child you were powerless to stop the abuse and now you may feel powerless in many areas of your life as you have become a “harsh inner critic” of your every move and thought and struggle with the “battlefield that is in your mind” constantly. You may struggle feeling unsafe in your own body. Your self esteem at times may seem to hit rock bottom .. You may be addicted to porn, drugs, alcohol, work in an attempt to numb out and sooth your pain.
(See “ChildhoodTrauma Is The Root Of Addiction”)
You may feel confused about your “masculinity” and sexuality, your identity. . Avoiding your emotions rather than regulating and processing your emotions is another way that childhood sexual abuse can effect your relationship with yourself. Guilt and shame can certainly block your capacity to feel all your emotions and have kept you stuck in silence. The disconnect from yourself is another effect of sexual trauma and learning to give yourself the time, attention and self care you so need can make a big difference as you will be starting to connect and value yourself.
EFFECTS OF CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE ON RELATIONSHIPS
Trust is the foundation of all healthy relationships . When you are sexually abused as a child your trust has been deeply ruptured. The abuser is almost always “someone you trusted”. Usually the abuser is a family member, relative, family friend or trusted member of the community(such as a a pastor, rabbi, coach ,teacher ,doctor)When trust is ruptured by sexual abuse children tend to blame themselves and the “silence” takes root. If there had been a “safe” person to share this with it could have been life changing. But often a child feels alone and helpless. The message that your heart, mind, body and spirit received is that “it is not safe to trust anyone”
To be able to form intimate healthy relationships we have to feel “safe enough” to be vulnerable. So many of the men that I have worked with have begun therapy as they had begun an intimate relationship and were overwhelmed by anxiety and triggers from the past and felt unlovable. The wonderful thing is that we can learn so much about ourselves in relationships and healing can take place when the relationship is with someone “safe” and who will not ‘reinjure” you.
✨ What Therapy Feels Like With Me
I work out of a home office in Tribeca, where therapy is gentle, grounded, and fully in person. You don’t have to relive the trauma to heal from it — and you don’t have to figure everything out on day one.
What matters most is safety. In our work together, you’ll have space to slow down, breathe, and begin noticing what you feel — not just what you’ve had to perform or suppress.
This work is not about judgment. It’s about presence. You will be met with care, patience, and real respect for what you’ve survived.
If you’ve never had a place where your emotional truth was welcome, I invite you to experience that here — no pressure, no masks, just honesty and care.
✨ The Invitation
Healing from childhood sexual abuse doesn’t mean erasing the past — it means reclaiming your future.
Many men come to me with the same sentence: “I’ve never told anyone this before.” What follows is a moment of deep bravery — and often, deep relief. When the silence breaks, something sacred begins.
You may not feel ready. But even curiosity is enough to start. Therapy can be the space where shame dissolves and you begin to feel fully human again — not broken, not weak, just deeply worthy of healing.
📣 If something in you knows it’s time, I invite you to reach out. Your story matters — and it’s never too late to break the silence.
Resources for Healing and Support
Finding trustworthy support is an important step in healing from the wounds of childhood sexual abuse. Whether you're just beginning to face what happened or you’ve been on this journey for years, the following organizations offer encouragement, connection, and information to help you move forward:
1in6.org — A nonprofit specifically for men who have had unwanted or abusive sexual experiences, offering free and anonymous support groups, articles, and recovery tools.
MaleSurvivor — A safe community with resources for male survivors, including forums, professional directories, and healing retreats.
RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) — The nation’s largest anti-sexual violence organization, offering a 24/7 confidential hotline and survivor resources.
The Bristlecone Project — A powerful photo-narrative series of male survivors breaking the silence, fostering hope and dignity through their stories.
There is no timeline for healing — only the truth that healing is possible. These resources can help you take the next step, wherever you are in your journey.