Why Self-Neglect Is So Easy to Miss
When you’re busy caring for others or striving to meet everyone else’s expectations, it’s easy to forget yourself. Over time, this pattern of self-neglect can show up as exhaustion, resentment, feeling numb, or even losing touch with who you are. Many people don’t even realize how much they’ve abandoned their own needs — because it feels “normal.”
You deserve better. At Ronee Miller Counseling in Tribeca, NYC, I offer in-person therapy to help you recognize and heal the deeper wounds driving your self-neglect, so you can begin to care for yourself with kindness and intention. Call 📞 (212) 349-6544 or click here to visit my website today to begin.
For your healing to begin it is important to see and gain an understanding of the effects of your unaddressed trauma wounds.
See: “Knowing Your Value”. I am pretty sure that you are now beginning to see how unhealed trauma is affecting your relationships. Your attachment style has also been developed and affected by your trauma wounds, The “little child” part of you has been given many nonverbal as well as verbal messages that your emotions and your thoughts will not be celebrated or even tolerated and you have believed the lie that shame has told you:” that you are a mistake rather than you made a mistake” Avoiding pain is the root of all addiction. In other words, trauma is the root of all addiction. You need to be able to process what has happened to you rather than continue to neglect your inner self. The following are signs that you are neglecting yourself:
NOT LISTENING TO THE INNER CRY THAT YOU NEED “HELP” TO HEAL
You may have never had anyone in your life as a child or as an adult who actually heard and addressed your “inner cry” and so over time, you learned to stuff, deny, avoid and ignore your emotions and feelings, and most of all your pain.. So many of my clients were traumatized as young children by parents who had no idea how to love and nurture and did a great deal of harm: as the parents are often unhealed trauma survivors. Now it is time for you to heal and find a therapist who is an expert in trauma and who will provide that “safe” place where you can begin to trust and begin to be able to be authentically who you were created to be. See: “How To Stop Avoiding Your Pain”
🌿 What Therapy With Me Is Like
In my warm, pet-friendly home office in Tribeca, NYC, you’ll find a peaceful space to finally tune into yourself and your needs — perhaps for the first time in years. Together, we’ll gently uncover how childhood messages, trauma, or perfectionism taught you to put yourself last, and help you begin rewriting that story.
Therapy with me is about helping you feel seen, valued, and safe enough to explore what you truly need. At Ronee Miller Counseling, you’ll find support and compassion as you begin to care for yourself from the inside out. Call 📞 (212) 349-6544 or click here to take the first step.
EXPECTING OTHERS TO READ YOUR MIND RATHER THAN USING YOUR VOICE
As a trauma survivor you never learned how to communicate effectively and be calm and assertive(even when frustrated and stressed) and to speak and use your voice. When you did speak or show any strong emotion as a child no one really heard or listened: you were shut down either physically or emotionally or both. A child learns to speak and communicate by caregivers providing a “safe and secure” nurturing caring relationship and communication…..helping the child to put their thoughts and feelings into words. The tone and body language of the caregiver make a great difference to the child who is completely dependent and vulnerable…truly we are “little hostages” as children.
If you were abused and frightened during this critical time of development and have never felt “safe:” then it becomes very difficult as an adult survivor to communicate with others in a connected way. So many of my patients (though educated and successful in the world) began for the first time to be able to put their thoughts and feelings into words. As a result, they are no longer feeling continually “frustrated” with themselves and their relationships.
See: ”Red Flags Of A Unhealthy Relationship”
NOTICE HOW YOU ARE OVERFUNCTIONING
Overfunctioning is a prescription for disconnecting with yourself, burnout, anger, and most of all: neglecting “you”. When you “overfunction” then the other in the relationship will “underfunction” For trauma survivors “overfunctioning” is an effect of trauma and frequently a codependent relationship pattern.
Learning how to set limits and boundaries will be a big part of your healing process. The root of over-functioning is “shame” and “shame” is an equal opportunity employer regardless of all that you have accomplished and “shame” is a prison that you can escape from as healing takes place from the inside out. Overfunctioning fuels anger, fear, and depression and blocks an authentic connection. See: “Stop Being A Door Mat”
An Invitation to Care for Yourself
You matter. You deserve the same care and compassion you offer to everyone else.
I invite you to begin your journey of healing at Ronee Miller Counseling in Tribeca, NYC, where you can reconnect with yourself and learn to show up for your own needs with love and grace. Call 📞 (212) 349-6544 or click here to visit my website today. It would be my honor to walk this path with you.